Ist es möglich?

Finals begin (later) this week!  The students are ready for a break, and so am I.  The summer always begins with such promise, and this year is no different.  On the agenda for this summer:

-- Learning several new pieces; the list includes 7 as of right now (already begun is Presentation of the Rose, as of today)
-- Working my way through the chapters of my German textbook that we didn't get to in class
-- Losing this last bit of weight so that I can allow myself to think about head shots
-- Renewing my passport
-- Catching up on my reading list (getting a head start on this one with Susan Jacoby's The Age of American Unreason
-- Scheduling various doctor and dentist appointments I always put off until I have the time to do them
-- Scheduling car maintenance I always put off until I have the time to do it
-- Turning myself into a fearless inline skater
-- Traveling, AND, of course,
-- Relaxing

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.  First, the last couple of weeks until graduation are going to tick by a little too slowly, I'm afraid.  I'm trying to convince myself that I really should savor and enjoy the last few days of the usual routine, because this exact routine won't come around again (one high point of being an academic!), but, well, it's not quite working.  I really do not know what I would do if I had to think of facing an indefinite period of time with the exact same routine.  That would be my own personal hell, I think.  

Update: Keyboard status

Miracle of miracles: I put my keyboard back together, and it actually works!! The high A-flat was the only key that was sticking at first, but even that one is becoming functional again, slowly but surely. So, it looks as though I got lucky this time. Wheeeeeeew. This is a huge relief, because a new keyboard is about the last thing I can afford right now.

The only thing that stands in the way of my using it at this point is a good disinfecting. =D

Please excuse the complete and utter tastelessness of this post, but...

...what do piano keyboards and cat urine have in common?

Well, turns out that they have the exact same aroma, at least in my house. And why is this, you might ask. Well, turns out that my cat decided to relieve herself on my keyboard today. Lest you pass judgment on the poor thing, let me hasten to assure you that the responsibility for this rather unique but unfortunate incident lies completely and totally with me.

The backstory: Remember the roses from last week? (If not, scroll down.) They're going downhill rapidly, and some of the leaves have fallen onto the floor of my home office/studio. My kitty loves to nibble leaves, even, apparently, if they have long since died and detached from the stem. The problem with this is that dead leaves do not agree with her, and when it comes to the feline digestive system, what goes down must come up.

Alright. So far, we have a cat, a keyboard, and some dead leaves. We also have my morning routine, which involves warming up the voice, followed by checking e-mail while eating breakfast. As I was finishing up this morning, my cat was already in the process of ridding herself of some of these dead leaves, the devouring of which had escaped my attention. In an effort to prevent the repetition of this cycle, I closed the door as I left the office. Keeping her out of the office for the day would really for the best, I reasoned, even though she enjoys the sunny spot upstairs, where it's warmer.

Fast forward several hours. I return home from work, only to find--irony of ironies--that in an effort to lock the cat OUT of the office, I had most assuredly locked her IN. Hopefully it goes without saying that I felt absolutely horrible about this mistake (but not as horrible as I would feel in about five more minutes). After consoling her for what can never be an adequate amount of time after a mishap like this, I inevitably wandered over to the keyboard, threw back the sheet that I use to cover it, and proceeded to play what should've been the G major triad that usually kicks off my warmup routine. Only, what came out was definitely not a G major triad. Let's try a 5-tone scale on C...hmmm...it sort of resembles a pentatonic scale.

Before I was aware of what I was doing, my hands were no longer on the keys but carefully unfolding the cover sheet. You live with cats as long as I have, and there are some things that you just know to be true before you know that you know. Sure enough, huge wet spot on the sheet. What is truly amazing to me is the relative lack of evidence. Nothing was wet except for the sheet--that is, until I tilted the keyboard and a yellow stream poured out into the floor--and the smell didn't really hit me until I began disassembly. For the curious, my $___ keyboard is now dissembled and will spend the night airing out.

Tomorrow's task: Reassemble and hope.

Summer's coming!

It turns out there's nothing wrong with me after all: Although a little behind schedule this year, spring fever has finally hit. Actually, I kind of prefer it this way--if it takes over too early, mustering up enough focus to get through the remainder of the semester can be challenging, to say the least. We've so far had a fairly cold spring this year, which has delayed my normal onslaught of spring fever by a few weeks. This past week has really been the first week warm enough to dig out a few cute spring outfits (I need to go shopping), and although it's going to be on the cool side again for a few days, it looks as though spring has finally arrived!

After taking in the Met simulcast yesterday (and what fantastic performances by both Dessay and Florez--they completely lived up to the hype), I acquired the hot new set of inlines that you see in the photo (thanks to the fabulous man who bought them for me). I don't skate--yet. These skates were bought completely on a whim, but so often, that's the best way to do it. So, I have a beautiful new pair of skates, just in time for summer! My first "lesson" was this morning, and, people, I didn't do too badly. By the time we decided to pack it up, I was actually moving (maybe even skating!) around on the asphalt, all by myself! Will I be ready to try crossing one foot over the other next time? I suppose we'll see.

Still sick

Actually, I feel much better, so maybe the title is a bit in error.  But, my voice is still sick, and I have an audition scheduled later this weekend.  There's no way I can sing in this condition, so I'll very likely call and see if I can reschedule.  I tried singing through a couple of things this afternoon, and it's just not working.  My cords are swollen, and even though I can get through most of my entire range, I'm hoarse pretty much throughout.  It's the type of situation in which forcing things could be dangerous.

In hindsight, I got very lucky last weekend.  If this infection had happened even a day earlier, I wouldn't have been able to perform the second night.  Luckily, it was still mostly in my head for both performances; it was only afterwards the second night when the cough started.  Timing is everything. 

I have awesome friends and colleagues...

...who collectively gave me 30 roses over the weekend. Here are 21 of them. I took the rest to work to add a touch of color to my office. Aren't they boootiful?

I don't believe I've ever had this many roses at once! =)

Abduction

To paraphrase our director from last night, "after tonight, this show will no longer exist, except in the memories of the audience." It’s hard to believe it’s all over, after the months of preparation that have gone into this. All in all, we gave two very good performances. The one regret is that the show doesn’t run for longer, to give us more time to settle in and get more comfortable with what we’re doing.

There was some great chemistry going on onstage, especially last night. One of my favorites: During the Sitzprobe, the actor who played the Pasha gave me a pendant to wear during the show for good luck. Because a choker was already part of my costume, I couldn’t wear the pendant around my neck, so I wore it around my wrist instead. This could’ve looked a little awkward, were it not for the cleverness of my Belmonte. During the quartet the first night, Belmonte made a big deal out of noticing the pendant right after the last "sehn wir unsrer Leiden End," which provided a very natural setup to his expression of jealous doubt in the 3/8 section. Brilliant!

In terms of my own performance, it’s mixed. The one thing that we all hope doesn’t happen, happened: I started coming down with something the day before we opened. This role was by far challenging enough, without a respiratory infection, so this threw me more than I would’ve liked. The first night, I was scared and anxious, not sure whether I could trust my voice to be there. So, I sang much more cautiously than I should have, held back when I shouldn’t have, and because of nerves, made a few screw-ups that are now hard to live with. One particularly bad moment: "Martern" was going fairly well, up until the long-as-day C. Actually, the long-as-day C was sort of okay, but on the C right before it, some phlegm or something caught in my throat and cut me off after one count. It threw me, and I started the next C a measure early. Fortunately, the long-as-day C gives one plenty of time to sort out the mess in one’s head, so I made it through this C, made it to the G, made it through the G, and cut it all off a measure early, which was fine. This was a good save, but still. Because of my illness-induced nerves, I wasn’t really happy with my performance the first night.

Last night was much better; too bad the reviewers all came the first night. Before the show, I basically sat myself down and reminded myself that this was my last shot, and that I’d have to live with whatever happened. If I sang from a place of fear again, it might be that nothing would go horribly wrong, but I’d have to live with a mediocre performance. But, if I trusted it and held nothing back, even if something cracked or whatever, at least I would know that I had given it all I had. So fortunately, last night I was able to put faith in my technique and sing with more abandon. I redeemed myself on "Martern," which was my main sticking point. In fact, I’d give that aria a 9.75/10. The coloratura was fantastic, the staging worked just the way I wanted, maybe for the first time ever, and my Ds were much better. I trusted them, and they were all there. My lower register was rather weak because of the cold, which is too bad, but that couldn’t be helped. My other two arias went well too. There were some imperfections that wouldn’t have been there had I been well, but I can live with it.

So, for better or worse, I’ve now sung my first Konstanze!

Production Week!

Well, here it is, already: production week.  To sum up, I'm excited, nervous, stressed, but most of all, just plain psyched! Learning this role has been such a wonderful experience for me, all the way around, and I've learned so much.  And now, the moment of truth has almost arrived... Before that, though, I have an absolutely insanely crazy week ahead.  Here's a preview:

Tomorrow:  Go to work, try to finish up early because tomorrow night will be busy:  come home, review parts of my score for specific issues, test memory in ensembles & dialog, get voice in shape, charge various batteries, pack the car for Dress #1.

Saturday:  Get to the theatre early to help load the set and set up the supertitle equipment; run trouble spots; Dress #1; repack the car (thankfully, we can leave the set up); come home & crash.

Sunday:  Sleep in; review notes; rest the voice

Monday:  Work-as-usual; Sitzprobe 6-11

Tuesday:   Work-as-usual; German class 6-10

Wednesday:  Work-as-usual; Dress #2, 6-11

Thursday:  Work-as-usual; evening: dark

Friday:  Opening night!  Come home and crash.

Saturday:  Sleep in LATE;  Closing night; cast party; come home and crash

Sunday:  Sleep all friggin day

Monday:  Drag myself to work; back to life-as-usual.

Getting closer

We had our first stumble through yesterday, and it was, indeed, a stumble through. For the most part, things went alright, and the singers are doing a great job. It's wonderful to be a part of such a strong and upbeat cast. Some people tried to get through it off-book, but none of us had everything completely memorized. I surprised myself by having a duet better-learned than I thought, but then I made memory mistakes in other places that I didn't expect to. I know what to concentrate on, memorization-wise, for next week (have to get my words right in the quintet!). Luckily, I have a few days to work with things physically before the next rehearsal. While things are still fresh from yesterday, I need to spend some quality time with my score, just sitting and thinking and taking notes.

The most exciting thing for me vocally is that my stamina is growing! I could definitely tell a difference in my stamina between yesterday and the first sing through, which was several weeks ago. This is the first role of this magnitude that I've sung, and I've up until now been a little scared of my ability to get through the entire opera in good voice. Yesterday, I proved to myself that I can do this. It's not an easy sing though, and the trick is to figure out how much to hold in reserve during Aria 1, and then again in Aria 2, to make it through Aria 3, which is the most demanding of all. My pacing yesterday was just about right, although a cast member said it sounded as though I was holding back a bit in Aria 3. Hmmm... If I can just get through the arias, the ensembles aren't too bad. There's a rather brutal part in the quartet that sits right on the passaggio for several pages, but otherwise, nothing too demanding. The quartet is such a great bit of music.

Also, I'm starting to love this role! Working on this role is teaching me a lot about dramatic acting, and the intensity can at times be overwhelming. I'm starting to see what Sills meant when she talked about giving everything of yourself onstage, so that when you're done, you're exhausted and have nothing left. There was a 20-minute period during rehearsal yesterday when I started to tap into this kind of intensity, at least a little bit. The trick is learning to go to that place consistently when onstage. A preliminary thought on this: I think that this type of intensity comes from allowing oneself to be completely immersed in the character and his/her mental processes, which requires being fully immersed in that moment. In other words, it involves a suspension of thoughts like, "did I take enough breath to make it through this phrase?" or "is the other person going to remember his blocking during this scene?" Having that type of running commentary in one's head is counterproductive to portraying a character.

And now for a bit of kvetching...

Life was SO much easier before I became a Singer. If I weren’t a Singer:

-- I wouldn't be slightly nervous about the German midterm that I'm taking tomorrow (and here I thought I was done with school),

-- I wouldn’t have to expend mental energy strategizing about how to steer clear of sick people everywhere I am.

-- I wouldn’t have to ask, “have I netipotted today?"

-- I would have a few less tubs of Clorox wipes cluttering my life.

-- I would be $425 richer this month.

-- I would still be prescription-free.

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.
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And, most significantly of all:

-- I wouldn’t be worried to death about this sudden bit of hoarseness/breathiness…(will it be gone by tomorrow?? I have a role to work on!)

Is it all worth it??

YES.